How did women live in Ancient Rome?
- Davit Grigoryan
- Feb 8
- 6 min read
Updated: Feb 22
Women of the Roman Empire had a difficult life, primarily because Ancient Roman society was patriarchal, and women did not have the same rights as men. Even women from the upper classes, or the elite, could not vote or engage in politics, let alone the rest. However, it should not be thought that the daily life of ancient Romans was dull, monotonous, and had nothing in common with the modern world.
How Were Girls Raised in Ancient Rome?
Boys and girls in Ancient Rome were raised together until a certain age. Children played with the same toys, mostly animal figures made of wood or ivory. Both boys and girls played active games such as ball games or hoop rolling. It is known that children had dolls, which are sometimes found in the graves of those who died before reaching adulthood. Children from lower social classes attended primary school together, with girls and boys learning side by side. Children from wealthy families were educated at home.
As they grew older, the paths of boys and girls increasingly diverged. Girls stayed at home and were trained in household management and traditionally female crafts. Occasionally, some women studied Latin and Greek, as well as philosophy and history. Regardless of her education, a girl's main place in life was in the home and household management. Intellectual abilities were valued much less than domestic skills, and a girl's childhood ended early.
In wealthy families, girls were married off at the age of twelve, while in poorer families, this age was slightly older, around 15 or 16 years. The girl’s consent was not sought; the parents arranged marriages. Men typically married later than women, and it was not uncommon for a twelve-year-old girl to marry a man twice her age. As for moral education, modesty and chastity before marriage were considered mandatory.
Marriage and Family Dynamics in Ancient Rome
From the early period of the Roman Empire, Roman law recognized three forms of marriage: confarreatio, the traditional wedding ceremony; coemptio, a form of purchase; and usus, simple cohabitation.
During the Roman Republic, marriage was relatively free; spouses had the right to divorce and divide their property. By the end of the Republic, the number of the upper class decreased significantly. Educated women more rarely devoted themselves to motherhood, and even those who had children often chose not to breastfeed, instead employing wet nurses.
The first emperor, Octavian Augustus, began a policy aimed at restoring the country's demographics. As a result, harsh sanctions were imposed on Romans. Men were required to marry between the ages of 25 and 60, and women between 20 and 50. Those who violated these laws were denied inheritance rights and were excluded from public events.
Childless women who reached the age of 20 were fined. Adultery, which had previously been considered a private family matter, became a criminal offense under Emperor Octavian Augustus. The punishment for adultery could be as severe as the death penalty. Notably, intimate relations with a slave or a prostitute were not considered adultery. Prostitution in Ancient Rome was entirely legal, while slaves were considered property, not women with independent legal status.
The Beauty Regimen of Roman Women
Ancient Roman women paid great attention to their appearance. Cosmetics were considered a sign of luxury. They were expensive and didn’t last well on the face because they were made from natural materials. Rich Roman women applied cosmetics several times a day, often with the help of skilled slaves.
The foundation of their makeup consisted of lead and arsenic-based white pigments. A pale complexion was a sign of aristocracy, indicating that a woman did not work outdoors. Interestingly, even in ancient times, it was known that lead was toxic. However, the whiteness of the skin was valued more highly than health. Other methods were also used to whiten the skin, such as crocodile dung, but they were not as effective. Before applying lead-based powder, Roman women used lanolin, a wax derived from sheep's wool. Animal wool was steamed to extract viscous particles of sweat and fat. Lanolin had a sticky consistency and an unpleasant smell. Other ancient Roman cosmetic recipes included equally strange ingredients such as vinegar, horns, bile, urine, and animal excrement, as well as bone marrow, crushed seashells, onions mixed with bird fat, and much more. Donkey milk was considered a special remedy; it acted as a chemical peel, helping to eliminate freckles, pigmentation spots, and skin unevenness.
Body hair removal was also common; while some women used simple shaving, there were more sophisticated methods available. For example, creams made from various ingredients such as bat blood and brain, resin, bile, and hedgehog ash were popular. In the Roman Empire, there were also specialized shops where professional hair pluckers used tweezers.
According to ancient Roman beauty standards, a woman's eyes were supposed to be large and dark. Women lined their eyes with a mixture of kohl and ash. For application, they used thin sticks made of glass, wood, or ivory. This same mixture was also used for eyebrow makeup. Ideal eyebrows were expected to be thick and meet at the bridge of the nose.
Since cosmetics had a strong, unpleasant smell, perfumes were very popular in Rome. Perfumes were made in liquid and solid forms, with the consistency of oils, ointments, and creams.
Many Roman women dyed their hair using ashes, which gave the hair a reddish tint. Black hair color was achieved using substances like wild celery, lentils, dead wine, wild sage, and boiled pore skin. During the Empire, red hues were achieved using a dye imported from Egypt called henna.
Roman Women’s Clothing and Jewelry
According to ancient Roman beauty standards, a woman should be substantial, with fleshy thighs and a large abdomen. At the same time, her breasts should be small and firm; a large breast was mocked and considered a sign of old age. To prevent sagging breasts, women massaged and rubbed their chests with hemlock from a young age.
As underwear, Roman women wore a strip of fabric that tightly compressed the chest, known as a strophium. Part of the underwear also included a loincloth and a tunic. Wealthy women wore a stola as their outer garment. The stola differed from the tunic by having sleeves and a greater amount of fabric. In the second century CE, the stola was replaced by the palla, a semi-transparent piece of fabric that was wrapped around the body like a cloak.
Wealthy women wore a large number of ornaments. Roman women wore diadems, golden ribbons in their hair, rings, bracelets, earrings, and fibulae—fasteners for clothing. Jewelry was made from silver and gold. Wealthy Roman women wore accessories with emeralds, sapphires, and garnets. Diamonds were rarely worn because they were considered unattractive, and the technology for cutting diamonds had not yet been developed. Women of modest means wore jewelry made from amber and agate. Slaves and poor women wore jewelry made from inexpensive colored glass. If a woman did not wear jewelry, it could imply that she was a prostitute. Prostitutes were forbidden from wearing jewelry.
From Household Management to Priestesses
Women of the upper class were involved in managing households. Wealthy families often had multiple estates and homes, so women had to oversee the work of several hundred slaves, which resembled managing a business corporation. Often, Roman women acquired skills that helped in managing the family business. Alongside their husbands, women could manage a shipping company or a brickwork.
Less wealthy families worked together in workshops and engaged in trade. Women could also run their businesses independently of their husbands. Laws from the imperial period that punished women for marital infidelity exempted those engaged in business or running shops from legal prosecution.
However, there were also typical professions reserved exclusively for women, such as wet nurse, actress, dancer, midwife, artist, calligrapher, and secretary. These professions were valued very differently by society. Dancers and actresses were often equated with prostitutes and stigmatized with shame, whereas wet nurses and midwives were respected and held in high regard.
Priestesses of the goddess Vesta enjoyed special respect and honor. Vestal Virgins were exempt from usual social duties. They vowed to remain celibate and maintained their chastity for the duration of their 30-year service. Their lives were dedicated to performing religious rituals and maintaining the sacred fire in the temple. Additionally, Vestal Virgins were exceptionally wealthy, primarily due to generous gifts from emperors. Vestal Virgins were always invited to numerous public religious ceremonies. They were given honorary seats at public games and performances. The person of a Vestal Virgin was inviolable; causing physical harm to a Vestal Virgin was punishable by death. A Vestal Virgin had the power to pardon a condemned prisoner. If a person sentenced to death saw a Vestal Virgin before execution, they would immediately be granted a pardon.
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